I know I promised to be more of a blogger last year and I was a failure of epic proportions. This year will be different. I will have more time to blog. I am taking the semester off of school! This was a decision I deliberated on for weeks and weeks. I am still not completely happy with it but I know it is probably for the best.
*Flashback to last semester*
I was sick as could be and managed to get 3 PICC lines in four months. My FEV1 dipped to 22%. Despite all of this, I managed to not miss any class. I prided myself on being in class no matter how sick I was. I am an early childhood education major so I worked in a school this past semester with kindergartners. As much as I loved my kinderbabies, they made me so sick. One week I could not even talk because I had coughed so much that I messed my throat up. I even spent a weekend in the hospital and got out just in time to be at my practicum school on Monday to teach my kinderbabies. School and my kinders were the most important things to me. My health fell by the wayside. My parents and doctors both urged me to put my health first but my stubborn 20 year old self had my eyes on the prize- a college degree.
*Back to now*
My health has declined once more. My chest is heavy and I can barely breathe. I have had massive cough attacks. I cannot taste or smell anything. Every night since New Year's Eve, I have coughed up copious amounts of blood. My FEV1 was at 32% and I had lost four pounds. My doctor decided it was time for another hospitalization. My doctor also thought getting a port was the best thing to do. Now I am a pretty skinny girl. I am only 5'2 and weigh a whopping 82 pounds. My main concern as a 20 year old female was how the port would make me look and how much it would stick out.
So I was hospitalized. The first night they stuck me four times before the nurses could finally successfully start an IV. That night should have signaled to me that this visit would be bad. I was stuck over 20 times within 6 days. I just seemed to get stuck with nurses that could not draw blood or start IVs. New nurses I am assuming but hey, they have to learn at some point. Lucky for them they got to practice on me and not someone who screams and cries at the sight of a needle. Then Monday I was wheeled down and put to sleep and my port was placed. Now I am not going to lie, so far I hate it. It sticks out and looks hideous. But hopefully one it heals I will like it more. I am finally out of the hospital. I am still in lots of pain from the port. I feel even worse than before I went into the hospital.
School starts Monday. It feels weird to not be starting. I have been going to school since kindergarten with no breaks except summers. I feel lazy. I know I need to take this time to focus on my health. It is the most important, especially when my doctors are talking of sending me to talk to the transplant people. I just wish I did not feel like I was taking the easy way out. I need to find something to fill my time this semester between appointments and treatments. Blogging will probably be my saving grace to keep me from going crazy.