Taking a semester off

I know I promised to be more of a blogger last year and I was a failure of epic proportions. This year will be different. I will have more time to blog. I am taking the semester off of school! This was a decision I deliberated on for weeks and weeks. I am still not completely happy with it but I know it is probably for the best.
*Flashback to last semester*
I was sick as could be and managed to get 3 PICC lines in four months. My FEV1 dipped to 22%. Despite all of this, I managed to not miss any class. I prided myself on being in class no matter how sick I was. I am an early childhood education major so I worked in a school this past semester with kindergartners. As much as I loved my kinderbabies, they made me so sick. One week I could not even talk because I had coughed so much that I messed my throat up. I even spent a weekend in the hospital and got out just in time to be at my practicum school on Monday to teach my kinderbabies. School and my kinders were the most important things to me. My health fell by the wayside. My parents and doctors both urged me to put my health first but my stubborn 20 year old self had my eyes on the prize- a college degree.
*Back to now*
My health has declined once more. My chest is heavy and I can barely breathe. I have had massive cough attacks. I cannot taste or smell anything. Every night since New Year's Eve, I have coughed up copious amounts of blood. My FEV1 was at 32% and I had lost four pounds. My doctor decided it was time for another hospitalization. My doctor also thought getting a port was the best thing to do. Now I am a pretty skinny girl. I am only 5'2 and weigh a whopping 82 pounds. My main concern as a 20 year old female was how the port would make me look and how much it would stick out.
So I was hospitalized. The first night they stuck me four times before the nurses could finally successfully start an IV. That night should have signaled to me that this visit would be bad. I was stuck over 20 times within 6 days. I just seemed to get stuck with nurses that could not draw blood or start IVs. New nurses I am assuming but hey, they have to learn at some point. Lucky for them they got to practice on me and not someone who screams and cries at the sight of a needle. Then Monday I was wheeled down and put to sleep and my port was placed.  Now I am not going to lie, so far I hate it. It sticks out and looks hideous. But hopefully one it heals I will like it more. I am finally out of the hospital. I am still in lots of pain from the port. I feel even worse than before I went into the hospital.

School starts Monday. It feels weird to not be starting. I have been going to school since kindergarten with no breaks except summers. I feel lazy. I know I need to take this time to focus on my health. It is the most important, especially when my doctors are talking of sending me to talk to the transplant people. I just wish I did not feel like I was taking the easy way out. I need to find something to fill my time this semester between appointments and treatments. Blogging will probably be my saving grace to keep me from going crazy.

My Indecisive Self: Schools, majors, decisions!

One thing you will all learn about me is I am completely indecisive. I have the hardest time making up my mind. Even something as simple as picking out a color of leggings becomes a BIG DEAL. Actually that same situation happened today. I was in Dollar General when I saw sweater leggings. They were absolutely adorable. I loved both the white and gray ones. The problem was they were $8 each. To some of y'all I know $16 is hardly nothing but to a college student $16 can get you a week's worth of Taco Bell! So I had to choose. I asked my mom who gave me the standard mom answer "get which ever one you like better" and "either one is cute" which was obviously no help at all. After mentally going through all the possible tops I could wear and staring at them longingly for about 5 or 10 minutes I finally decided on the white pair. Its been 6 hours since I left the store and I'm contemplating just going and buying the gray pair too. See how bad my problem is?
Well my real problem with my indecisiveness is when it comes to college. I'm a sophomore in college. I'm halfway through my first semester which means its getting closer and closer to the time where I must commit to a major. I went into college for early childhood education. Well then I changed my mind. Because of some health and personal problems I had to move back closer to home. So after my freshman year at college #1 I moved back home and started this year at college #2 with the intent to major in nursing. Well of course my credits messed up and I lost a whole semester of classes. It totally sucked. So I would graduate a semester behind. Well now I'm once again contemplating a major change. I have always loved baking and wanted to go to culinary school for the longest time but always figured I should go to school for something more practical (obviously education and nursing). I want to follow my dream though. But it would take me four years to graduate because the credit requirement is so high. I know I would enjoy this school more but is it worth the extra years of school? Instead of graduating at 21 I would graduate at 23. I know to adults that read that its not a big deal but for people my age I know you understand.
My real dream job is to be a stay at home mom. MRS. degree anyone? I'd love to be the whole "June Cleaver" image. Take care of kids, clean the house, sit my butt on Pinterest all day (well maybe June didn't do that), just a few of my favorite things.

I obviously want my degree first but I aspire to be a stay at home mom. It really irritates me when people down stay at home moms. Most people that do that are just jealous they can't do the same. There's nothing wrong with being a homemaker just like there is nothing wrong with having a career.
I'm getting really offtrack. I just hope this change in schools and major makes me happy and is my absolute last change. I really need to be more decisive!