I'm backkkkkkkk

Good Morning all my lovelies!

It has been quite some time, about 3 years, since I was last here.

AND BOY HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED...

I guess I should catch everyone up on my life now, but I think I'll make it short and sweet.

THIS IS ME NOW

Work life:

• I  graduated college with my Bachelors in Hospitality Management.
• I worked as a wedding planning assistant.
• I worked in event sales.
• Now I am an events specialist at an event venue!
• Some of my clients are people from my local CFF chapter and others.
• I recently met a mom of a young fibro, who I sat with and answered all the questions. It was very rewarding.

Personal Life:

• I'm single (that's right boys, line up).
• I live with one of my best friends from high school and her two adorable puppers.
• I'm turning 25.
• I want to open my own business.
• I love to do beach yoga, calligraphy, paint canvases, bake, and I'm currently learning to play the Ukulele .
• I'm going to be starting another lifestyle blog on how to live on a post grad salary.
• I have a burning passion to do more in life.

Health Life:

• I'm on Symdeko.
• I'm feeling mostly well.
• I started being compliant with all my stuff (including my diabetes that I neglected before).
• I'm gaining weight.

ALL IN ALL

Things are going pretty well for me! I wanted to come back and restart this blog because honestly, I miss doing it. I don't always have much to talk about, but I'm sure y'all like to listen to me ramble about random things anyways right?

Coming back to this blog as a full-fledged adult (scary right?),  I have more insight into adult problems with CF (insurance, jobs, leave time, and co-workers who give you a hard time!), as well as advice to a younger audience like teenage problems and boys (scratch that, I'll never understand guys so don't ask me anything about that)!

Blessing in Disguise

When people find out I have Cystic Fibrosis, they usually respond with sympathy and pity. Oh how I hate pity! Some ask if I have ever thought about what it would be like to be normal. What is normal? My CF and my diabetes and everything else are my normal. My normal is a day filled with medications, shots, and treatments. My normal is hacking up a lung and gasping for breath. My normal is visiting doctors and spending weeks in the hospital. My normal is coughing up blood (this really scares a lot of people). I honestly could not imagine a different normal. Like what would that even be like? I would not wish for a day without my CF and other problems. What is the point in that? A day of "normalcy" would only be a tease. A life I would never have access to. Seems like torture to me. I have CF, it will not go away. People always seem to feel bad for me but I alway wonder why because I have never once felt bad for myself. Even though my life may be cut short from these problems, I live more than most people! I do not take for granted the time I have. I love more deeply and laugh more loudly than I would if I thought I had all the time in the world.
I feel normal. I do what "normal" college kids do. I have friends. I go to parties. I go out on dates. I have fun. I spend too much money. I choose fun over class sometimes. I have a life. One thing I refuse to participate in is smoking though, anything at all.
If I did not have my CF and other medical problems, I would not cough everyday (seriously, it blows my mind that some people do not cough even once a day...seriously BLOWS MY MIND!) I would not spend forever doing treatments and taking medications. I would not constantly be pricking my fingers or giving myself shots. I would be taller and be, let's be honest, probably as big as a house the way I eat. I would be terrified of needles and hospitals. I would not have an expiration date stamped across my forehead. If I did not have CF, I would not be the person I am today. Make no mistake, CF does not define me, but it has shaped me.
CF has made me appreciate more. I call it a blessing in disguise. I always wonder "would I value these things as much if I did not have CF?" and "would I be this awesome if I didn't have CF?" I'd like to think I would. CF makes me value my education (even though it seems to be taking forever to get that bachelor's degree!). It drives me to keep going and to be successful. It allowed me to obtain a part in a TV show (I wanted to be an actress. It was my wish. The show went off the air a couple months after my on air performance.). It makes me love and trust more than I probably should. It helps me to jump over life's hurdles. It makes me value the time I have with my family and friends. It makes me hold them closer to my heart. It makes me more eager to be outgoing and to treat everyone with kindness because every person I meet is fighting a battle I cannot see. It allows me to make a difference and to educate others about CF so maybe one day it will stand for cure found. It tries to help me not sweat the small stuff (but I stress easily). It forces me to look at the bigger picture, but to also appreciate the little snapshots. 
Everyone dies sooner or later. I just do what I need to do to live as long as I can while living my life to the fullest extent.

Well I do declare!

Hey y'all! Good gracious it has been awhile! I've been a busy bee lately. I have been taking my time off of school to do things I'm passionate about: baking and painting canvases!
I have also been running up and down the roads to various doctor's appointments. I had to get my eyes checked for diabetes damage (where the nurse that saw had just came back to work that day after having the flu and all her children had it). She was still sneezing and sniffling all over the place. I also had to see endocrinology where I now have to take a shot every time I eat along with a shot at night. I also have to check my blood sugars four times a day.  I feel like a human pin cushion. My fingers are all bruised as well as my stomach from all the poking! But now that my blood sugar is under control I am hoping to maybe gain some weight! I still feel awful so that sucks but I'm not ready to be back on IVs again so suffer I shall.

For all those who have not seen Foreverland and 65_RedRoses, I highly recommend both! They are really good. I must admit I teared up at both of them. They need to make a really great, really popular movie about CF. I think it would give CF more publicity and therefore we would be as well known as cancer. We need to be more proactive at fundraising. I wish CF was as well known as say breast cancer.

Another thing I want to touch on is how CFers can make other CFers feel bad without even knowing. Like for instance I know some CFers who are like "there's no excuse not to get out and do something everyday" "I work out everyday no matter how sick I am" "I eat so healthy and now I don't have to take any medications." Sorry y'all but shut up. Some CFers can get offended. Sometimes it's a struggle to pull yourself out of bed. Hell, sometimes it's a struggle just to breathe. Some people just cannot get up and work out everyday. So saying there's no excuse makes them feel like there is something wrong with them and that they are lazy. Also some people do not have as severe cases of CF. If you don't have to do treatments or take enzymes or have diabetes too, good for you. You are blessed. Not others are as blessed. As CFers we should embrace other CFers because who knows better what they have to go through. I found a quote recently that I really love. It goes:

"You are not obligated to do everything a healthy person does.  You are not obligated to be an inspiration.  You are not obligated to hide your illness in order to make other people comfortable.  You are allowed to know your limits.  You are allowed to have bad days.  You are allowed to stay in bed if you can’t get up to do anything but go to the bathroom.  It is not your fault if other people leave you because of your illness.  It is not your fault that you are sick.  You don’t have to apologize for something that is out of your control." -unknown

I really do love this.

Calling all Cysters and Fibros

Hey y'all! I'm currently writing this blog via my iPhone so please forgive me if I make some mistakes. My apartment does not have internet anymore. Anyways!!!! I have never really got to know anyone with CF. So I'm calling for all my Cysters and Fibros! I want some CF friends. It's nice to be able to have people who actually understand. If I try to talk to my friends about things, they can get uncomfortable or can't fully understand. Sometimes I tend to have a dark sense of humor and I also like to openly talk about things others feel are scary, like dying and stuff of that nature. I need people I can talk to, people who understand! I'm fun, at least I think so.  I just want to make some new friends with CF. So come on!!!
On another note, my endocrinologist has put me on 10 units of lantus at night but when I take it my blood sugar drops too low. Anyone else have this problem?